I promise to post something really worth while during nap time. I actually have some great pictures and video to upload this time. However, right now I just want to complain senselessly for no reason.
First off I don't want any solutions, just girly sympathy. I just want everyone to say, "oh Kat, I know how you're feeling and it really sucks." So here goes.
I am just so tired of waiting for this baby to come. I know I am not even at my due date but I have had so many things telling me that she would come early that I am frustrated she hasn't yet. On the other hand, I have been refreshing myself by reading Baby Wise over again and when I do I get so scared and overwhelmed. Why do I want her to come any earlier?! I am going to be even more exhausted and frustrated and poor little Jack will be so annoyed!
I have started the grieving process for our little 3-some. I know I am going to love this little bundle like I never thought imaginable but I still feel sad to think that it won't just be the three of us anymore. I am so scared for how Jack is going to react because lately he won't even acknowledge my tummy. He used to kiss the baby and say hi and be so cute and now he ignores us when we talk about Violet in any way.
I have a stupid cough. At first it was just lots of yucky in my throat but now I am hacking and my voice is dwindling. I found myself screeching at Jack yesterday to stop running towards the escalator to no avail. It was a futile effort but thankfully something in his brain clicked at the last minute and he stopped. Why do I have to lose my voice? Maybe because I am complaining too much.
My house is very clean. In fact, there hasn't been a dish in the sink for longer than an hour for days now. I have obediently folded every piece of clean laundry right out of the dryer and there are no rotting leftovers in my fridge. The last thing I can think of to clean is the oven and seriously, I just don't want to do that.
Yesterday was like one constant contraction. My belly was tight from around 3 until 8:30. There was no peak or change just uncomfortable tightness all day. Does that mean I was stretching out more? Heaven knows I don't need that! Yeesh! I feel so annoyed that I keep having false alarms. I am thinking about it too much and am so acutely aware of every little pain or tightness. It's stupid.
Michael is working so hard. I know that this is normal and typical but it's just so stupid of his attendings to have scheduled him on such a hard and busy rotation right when I am due. I just want to march down to the hospital and give them an earful. I daydream about writing to the head of the program all of the time and just chewing him out. How lame is that? But really, I think they're exact words in regards to giving him time off when I deliver were, "yeah, we could probably give you a couple days off." UM HELLO! Probably? A couple? Whatever happened to penalty free paternity leave? Yeah, right, forget it.
The last thing is how uncomfortable I am. Really you forget how awful the last part is. I have just started saying that the first 8 months take one month to go by and the the last month takes the other 8. I just wish I wasn't spontaneously exhausted or energized. I wish I could move around and hold my son for longer than ten paces. I wish my butt didn't hurt and my hips didn't ache all the time.
I think that's most of it. If you have made it this far then wow, you must really be a good friend or very bored. I promise to post something better this afternoon. Bye till then.