24.8.10

two because I said so

Yes I am double posting on a Tuesday night but who cares? I feel the post below was tragic enough and this one will be wordy enough that they are both warranted.

So lately I have been Miss Teary Eyes. I'm not pregnant. Okay, that's out of the way. I have a theory as to why I tear up during such mundane events as:

a sentimental commercial for something special like toilet paper
the end of the movie Cars, which I have personally seen over 1,988 times
or when a gym member tells me they liked my class and can't wait to come back.

Yes, apparently these are legitimate reasons for my face to turn hot and my eyes to fill and my throat to tighten. It's silliness at its finest but I have an idea.

This is going to sound crazy but I think it's because I'm cutting out some crap. Lately I have been working really hard to cut out the "worldly" stuff the best I can. Or at least just be sensitive to when something isn't really uplifting.


I have watched better/less t.v. and avoided smutty music. I have tried to cut back on the "es-ach-ay-tees" and the "d-bags" and replace them with "poopsickles" or "fiddlesticks." I have been praying more consistently over meals thanks to Sister Bailey and I have been reading more than a column in my scriptures. I have also really made it a point to get as much out of church as possible since my darling 16 month old monster has the exact opposite goal in mind for me.

I really believe that by cutting out the crap I have welcomed the flood. Yes I am more sensitive to the good things too ie: the Holy Ghost. But I wish the tiniest, most contrived, simple and almost mundanely nice things didn't make me need a moment. It's silly! Riddle me this? What the SPANK am I gonna do when the Primary program comes?!?!?! I guess this is one thing that I am going to have to accept because spiritually it feels better to be walking toward the sun than the shade. Now excuse me while I wipe my eyes. Sheesh.


It's the day after I originally penned this post and I just need to say something more on the subject. First I want to thank everyone who commented because you helped something become very clear to me. This really is a blessing. Maybe a silly sounding one, "I am blessed to cry at the drop of a hat," but still a blessing. What I mean is, I don't cry at everything. Just alot of good things. If I were crying at everything then imagine all of the horrible sad things that would bring me to tears daily. Thins like my bank account, or the horrible Arizona drivers or a conflict on t.v. Hallelujah that I only shed tears for the "awws" and "how cutes" and "I love you toos." Thanks everyone. I'm gonna embrace it from here on out.

9 comments:

Melissa S. said...

As far as the primary program goes.....EVERYONE will be crying then. They always do. You won't look weird. :)
And I love this post. We all need a little re-focusing and re-centering every once and while when we start forgetting........and it feels good.....and liberating......EVEN for your tears. :)

Leah said...

I was teaching a class at church on spiritual gifts recently to the youth and I was trying to explain to them some of their spiritual gifts that they have that they may have never considered a gift. So it made me think about mine and the only one I could come up with besides being a mommy was having a sensitivity to the spirit. I seriously can cry at the drop of a dime. Now that I'm not pregnant I can no longer blame it on that, I like to just consider it my spiritual gift. It sounds like you have the same one too!

Jene and Megan said...

I think you are on to something with your theory! =)
I notice a huge difference in my everyday life when I'm doing the things I am suppose to be doing like reading my scriptures, every day. It does make a huge difference!! It brings more joy and peace in and as a bonus, I feel more confident and at peace with myself and how I look at myself.

Kory said...

Interesting. I just read Sarah Tyau's blog about the same subject. And like I said there, it's a topic that's come up a lot recently at our house. I found it interesting how hard it was to cut things out of my life that shouldn't be there. Like the little that shouldn't be there. I had to reassure myself that they weren't very important and the alternative was much better. Good post.

Kory said...

little things that is.

Heather B said...

Cutting out the crap-- that's awesome! Way to go. And an unexpected side effect, but a really cool one I think.

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Maureen said...

I love you Kat!

Lindsay Gunnell said...

I'm a crier too but I don't think it is in the spiritual gift category that yours is. I cry all the time at the hospital. It's just so darn sad there! And frustrating sometimes too! I need to learn some control, and maybe some healthier things to cry about, I think.

I've been trying to cut out some crap too, lately. It's so hard! Good job, Kat, for always being an inspiration :)