walmart sweater

This is like my sixth attempt at a post. I literally have 5 others half way done just waiting to be finished and published. In honor of the whole new year goal thingy, I am going to finish this post and publish it. For reals.

So my title is Walmart Sweater. I have this new analogy that I've been throwing around and it goes a little something like this...

It is true that I have met my goal weight and indeed have now (as of yesterday) surpassed that goal. Which is great right?! I know, thanks, I'm pretty stoked too. However! I still don't slip right into my old clothes. I am like a cheap Walmart turtle neck sweater that you wear a couple times, stretch out and never get back to normal. You can wash and dry or dry clean and hang. You can lay it flat or crunch it up but nothing, NOTHING, will return it to it's former glory. It's so sad because if I were a finer product maybe I would be able to snap back. You know, if I were from JCrew or were made of cashmere. But no, my flaccid, acrylic body will never be the same. There you have it. The Walmart Sweater.

Lately we have been busy. We've been celebrating a little holiday called Christmas, pretty sure no one else does that, and we've been gyming it up like mad. (Yes, I did just make gym into a verb.) I have loved/hated it. It is so nice to have things to do but simultaneously harder to relax. There is no balance and never will be and I'm just glad I can except that now in my ripe old age.

The best part of the holidays for me has been Michael. He has been so helpful, so loving and so around! As in, around all the time thanks to this awesome rotation. I am lucky.

The best gift of the holidays was the Hawaii trip. Michael wrapped a bottle of tanning oil, put it under the tree and wrote, "To: Mommy. From: Hawaii." Perfect. I seriously can't wait to get there, get mostly bare and soak it all in. (Yes I will be wearing a bikini and no I still don't feel morally wrong for doing so. :))

We took a trip up to Mt. Lemmon last weekend to see the snow and introduce baby girl to the frigid stuff. Turns out she's not a fan and neither is Jack. Although, if you remember last year's Mt. Lemmon photos, not much has changed with him. It was fun and uneventful and I only had to stop to pee once this year! Hallelujah! I hate those windy, poo filled tunnel toilets!

I figured something out the other day that I just have to share. Don't laugh because I am serious. Do any of you have a Swiffer wet jet? Do you get frustrated sometimes because although it is convenient, it isn't the most efficient tool in your cleaning closet? Well, that's how I feel. I hate that I still have to get on my hands and knees and scrub my floors with a rag every couple of weeks. Not any more! Or at the very least...Not as often! Yippee! Why? Oh because I happened to accidentally discover that if you dampen a regular old cleaning rag and stick it to the Velcro bottom of the swiffer, it cleans like 99 percent better than those cheap pad thingies they sell. Try it. You will never buy those disposable pads again. Promise.

There you have it. A complete and total mish mash of blog post. Did you like it? If you are a "don't let my potatoes touch my peas" kind of girl than I'm pretty sure you hated it. But! If you are a "curl my hair while applying makeup and nursing my baby" kind of girl than maybe you appreciated it. Either way, she is what she is. Peace out.


Melissa S. said...

Walmart sweater? Perfect analogy. But seriously, it's not about the weight after you have a kid......or this baby I'm learning it's not even about fitting into my skinny jeans.....because I still don't look right UNDER them yet. Guess, I'll just have to keep working.

Logan said...

I wish I could have told you about the rag-stuck-to-the-velcro trick! We utilized that idea to clean the nasty salon/spa floors at Remedez. Even better, when we ran out of cleaner, we made our own and put it in a hair-color bottle (the ones that look like diner ketchup/mustard bottles) and would squirt it on the ground before going over it with the ragged out swiffer. Yes, we were ghetto.

Amy said...

The walmart analogy is SOO true, I lost all my "Baby Weight" before my 6 week check up, but my clothes just don't fit right. I don't know if it also has to do with the fact that you go from wearing tents and sweats to tights and spandex type clothing. Either way I am with ya, keep up all the hard work, I am sure you look fabulous, and just try to remember you have a mommy body now, so embrace all those curves!

I'll have to try the towel thing with my swiffer, I actually gave up on ours and reverted back to a regular mop.

Lindsay Gunnell said...

So everyone must be on winter break because there should be about 50 comments on this awesome piece of art post. Your writing is so perfect. Acrylic sweater? Who thinks of stuff like that? Awesome. Also I am completely jealous of your Hawaii trip and any body imperfections you think you have will be completely gone with a tan, I promise.

Also yes, just send me that Thai chickien recipe over email or something when you get a chance. And I would love to have you take some pictures of me and Boyd sometime. I am always in love with your pictures, so that would be amazing. Since we've now been married for three years and we've probably taken about 5-10 pictures total during that time which is beyond pathetic.

Garet and Sarah Earles said...

After having kids your body changes so much and your skin just doesn't have the elasticity that it used to. Remember in dance when you would stick your hand under my booty, Summers too and how we would laugh. My booty is now sliding down my legs...can I please not get any older.

Jeanette said...

Give your walmart sweater time!! Even if you have been working out like mad, I think it still needs time to readjust. It may never be the same, but I think it can be dang good. You're not even a year out from having her yet! And hey if time doesn't work, sucking it in always does!

Ashley Koz said...

Wear that bikini girl, I still wear them too, I swear I'm the only mom at 7 peaks and the Scera pool wearing one but I just cannot bring myself to wear a one piece or even worse a tankini

becca olsen said...

YAY! when are you coming? Can we hang out please?!!

Jana said...

Dude, I love this post... I am definitely the second kind of girl.

All though, I have to disagree with you about being a walmart sweater.
I would say we are more like a favorite pair of jeans, the more wear and rips... the more character.

Now yes, we may never look like the airbrushed girls in the victoria's secret catalog... but I think guys, deep down, would rather look at a real girl anyway.

Plus it makes us eligible to belong to the mom club, which I wouldn't trade for anything.