my résumé


I just applied for an online job and I had to submit a resume. Let's just say, besides being a college graduate, I really have nothing else going for me on paper. I was so frustrated when Michael and I were sitting there trying/struggling to make me sound good.

My work experience in the last 7 years has consisted of retail, restaurants and gyms. I majored in history and lets be honest, there isn't much you can do with a history degree. I know that I am smart enough for most online jobs but it is so hard to put that on paper when you have the "work experience" I do.

The next thing that is so frustrating is that I can't include any of my real accomplishments. Things like, oh I don't know....

Pushing two bowling ball sized children out my hooha.

Making it nine months, TWICE, without peeing my pants while said bowling balls juice pressed my bladder.

Salvaging an overused nipple without stitches or medical intervention.

Cleaning the poop off of two or more butts everyday for years.

Surviving on roughly 4 hours of interrupted sleep for months while simultaneously cooking, cleaning, paying bills, losing weight and dieting.

Surely you are getting the picture with the mommy stuff but how about what came before that? Things like....

Putting my husband through medical school by working 40 hours a week serving douche bags sweet tea, Bud Light and deep fried entrees. All while taking at least 15 credit hours every semester.

I know that I haven't technically received any awards since I graduated Young Women's. I know that my idea of community service is making a meal after a baby is born or helping clean the chapel on a Saturday. I know that I can't speak any other languages besides "Jackanese" or "Mommy Instinct". I know that keeping a house orderly, clean and running is not really like being the CEO of a major corporation. I know that managing to get both of my kids down for a nap at the same time during the middle of the afternoon is not like being a scheduling manager.

I know all of this, I do. It's not the same but somehow, it's similar, harder even.

I am awesome. Every mother is. It isn't fair that we don't get the recognition that someone who works might because the things we can put on paper sound like a joke in the outside world.* You really have no idea how close I was to listing the bowling ball line under accomplishments! I mean really! It's hard!

I still haven't heard back from the position I applied for and I will most likely get the job but still....You have to admit it's annoying that my skills aren't considered real "skills" outside the home. That's my beef.

*On a sidenote here, I am not saying I want to go to work and have a real job and I am not condeming anyone who does. Just so we are clear.


Salime said...

Katherine :) t if you actually send this post as an attached letter with your resume, you may actually get any job :) At least I know many people would seriously consider you for any position because it is really good and so true. I have told Jimmy so many times in the past 2 years that if I were to join the working force again full time without the worries of having a little one at home or daycare and knowing and having done what I have done since I am a mom, I would be 100% better at any job than I was before. Why? because being a mom is harder... physical and psychologically harder. I do speak 3 languages, I have owned my own business, I've had the duties of an scheduling manager, I have traveled for work, etc, etc, and I assure you... what I am doing now (with just one son) has been harder than any of the things above. You can't fire your kids or husband, you can't quit, you can't call in sick, you can't take a bathroom break, you can't enjoy your lunch hour, and you don't get paid!!!!

Jeanette said...

So what job did you apply for? That is just one more thing to add your long list of duties! I wonder if we are going to look super old and raggy in 10 years? That fear is one of the reasons I really wish we could get a housekeeper.... I hate cleaning and swear staying up into the wee hours of the morning to do so is going to prematurely age me!

Maureen said...

You are an amazing mother! And the lives you are influencing will be so much greater than any paycheck could ever give you! I love you~

The Ensign's said...

Amen sista! It's funny because when I was working 10 hours at Home Depot everyone looked at me like I had such an easy life. Ya know I sit at home eatin bonbons with the kids and only work 10 hours in the real world. Well listen up folks..... my work at home is far more challenging than the outside world. (However, I should include that it is also far more rewarding at times too.) NO ONE..... I repeat NO ONE that hasn't been a stay at home mom/dad can fully understand how draining/challenging/emotional/pain-ful/overwhelming/ etc. this stayin at home buis is.
Go ahead.... put me down as a referel. I got your back!

KaSs MiLeS said...

totally know what you mean!!! its harder to be at home with kids than it is surfing the internet at a job. (you know, like i am doing right now!) you should be able to put it on a resume and have it mean something!

Lilianne said...

I worked with countless women in Washington, DC that CHOSE to be at work over being at home (they don't really need the money at all and worked to pay for a nanny) One of my coworkers was SICK with the flu or something and she came to work instead of staying home because she thought it was "too distracting" and "too hard" to be at home. Whatev... don't mention that they have full-time help to do everything!! Hard? Oh, I'm so sorry that you have a nanny.

Anyway, I digress. I think you are such a fabuloso mother and your children are darling and so awesome. And I think you are well-spoken, intelligent, interesting to talk to, have things to add to discussions - aside from all your mommy talk. I think this is a huge accomplishment when your life consists of taking care of children 24/7! You, in one breath, are more interesting than most women I worked with. Talk about BORING!! Who really wants to talk about lame work stuff when real life is way more exciting??

What job, yo? I see a couch and some living room furniture at the end of the tunnel! :-)

Heather B said...

I really like what Salime said. I've had a lot of similar thoughts about how I don't have any "accomplishments" since college (except all the ones you listed.) Sometimes when I feel a little insecure, I marvel at how self-assured I once was, and I have to ask, WHY did I have such strong self-confidence back then? And it was because I based it on measurable accomplishments, like straight A's, and making the sports teams, and getting voted as "Most...whatever"...and those days are all gone. So I have deeper issues with this than just a resume, but either way, at least know that we understand.

Jessica Peterson said...

I am coming to see you.

see you next week.

saraH said...

I was just thinking the same thing actually. the house was a little messy when my husband came home and he didn't say anything but I could tell he was a little bothered and I felt like he didn't think I did much that day when cooking, feeding, cleaning them up,changing diapers every hour literally,nursing every 2 hrs, refilling my daughter's juice literally every 30 mins, entertaining them, taking them to the playground which takes about 20 mins. at least to get ready to leave the house, dealing with my 2 yr. old's tantrums, putting them down for a nap which takes about 1 1/2 hrs... man it's exhausting!!!

just taking care of my two kids so they're clean, fed, and entertained and happy is so much work but yet I have laundry, dinner, grocery shopping, bathroom cleaning, vacuuming, ahhh it's never ending chores.

But ladies that work full time outside the home do admit it is so much harder to be a full time stay at home mom. Amen to that!

haha venting always feels good doesn't it? ;)

Sarah said...

Kat, you are hillarious, i love reading your blogs. I agree with everything you say.

{lindy baker cakes} said...

You are amazing. You are a wonderful mom. Why don't you say that you are a psychologist and you help struggling new mom's stay sane by your wonderful and "WISE" advice? I love you.

Julie said...


I am Sierra Prina's Aunt, you don't know me so forgive me for commenting on your blog. I just clicked on your blog from hers because your title was so intriguing! I am working on a really fun project and we are looking for women just like you, MOMS!!. I realize this post was back in January, so if you are still looking for some extra income and would like to work with a bunch of amazing moms just like yourself you can check us out at http://www.5000moms.com Tell them Julie Darton sent you. If you want to contact me directly you can email me at jldarton@gmail.com. Have a great fun filled day.

Julie said...

Oh I just realized I was reading the dates wrong this post much be Sept. 1 no Jan. 9. Great, then my timing may be perfect for you. Thanks, Julie
5000moms.com Imagine what we can do together!