12.6.09

the silent competition

Hello friends. I have to spit it out once again, I'm sorry. Basically this is a post about very superficial things. Ugh, I hate doing it but I have to. I just want to know, why do I silently compete with everyone for everything? I love my friends so much and I would never want to compete with them for anything for real. In fact, I am not that competitive. Not at bridal shower games, board game nights or even bouquet catching. I could really care less. That being said, there is a constant competition with every single one of my friends going on in my own head.

If a girl is skinnier than me and has just had a baby or she is better dressed than me or can sew better than me or has a cuter house or dresses her kids cuter or is more laid back or a better listener or is smarter or has a better blog (I am ashamed to admit this one but it's true. so lame.) whatever...... I am always comparing and competing! Why?! Freak why?! I hate it but I can't stop!

I am always so forgiving of other peoples flaws and faults, especially my friends but for some darn reason when they are better at something I get so jealous. Michael gets so annoyed because I am always saying things like, "I know she is a better cook than me but I am a better baker than her, right?" Or, "I know she dresses cuter than me but I am skinnier, right?" SERIOUSLY?! Why do I have to do this?

One last question. I know that I am alot more superficial than most girls but I am not the only one who does this, right? :)

16 comments:

becca olsen said...

Kat, don't worry you are NOT the only person that feels this way! And it's so true I know in my head that it's so dumb to compare, yet so hard to control those thoughts! I always just have to count my blessings, over and over again and remember that everyone has their own problems and trials that they are dealing with, even though we may not see them. But it's so dang hard to do that!

The Ensign's said...

I'm jealous of you for losing almost all your prego weight already.

Melissa said...

If it makes you feel better you:
-are skinnier then me
-have more friends that read your blog
-are more tan
-always have more treats in your home (is that still true?)

How's that?

Eevi said...

I think it's a girl thing..so you are not alone with this lovely quality:)

Mel said...

Don't say you are superficial...just think of it as "self discovery" or "personal improvement."

While sitting at the beach in Hawaii one day next to my mom (who was visiting) and complaining about the cellulite on my legs, she kindly said "Sweety, no matter what you do, where you go, or how you look, there will always be at least one person better/prettier/skinnier than you.....and 2 who are worse/uglier/fatter than you."

I love that one and try to remember it always...of course I wish that I was a step instructor/had your model good looks/took pictures as well as you do/etc.

Summer said...

Guilty as charged. And you're one of those gals that beats me in every department. :)

Amy said...

I think everyone does it to some extent. It is a part of human nature, we wouldn't evolve otherwise. Don't stress too much about it. :)

Jeanette said...

You crack me up. And someday soon Mikey will be bank rolling it and everyone will want to kill you. Not kill but you know be envious that you're pretty, smart, fun and rich!

olga said...

I do that all the time.. I think it's just part of our human nature. I always come to the same conclusion though - I'd rather be myself than someone else :)

Jana said...

Everyone you feel that way about, I'm sure, feels the same way about you...
Your hot, and crafty, and a good cook.

Julie said...

i'm pretty sure it just means you're a girl...

KaSs MiLeS said...

that last comment was me, didnt notice someone else was signed in.

Annie said...

K, you took the thoughts right out of my head....I have seriously been thinking like that for a long time, and it has only gotten worse the last few years. I feel the same way....I dont really judge people in the opposite way, like oh their house is dirty, they aren't as skinny, they don't dress all that great, but I definitely am ALWAYS thinking the way you described. Super frustrating huh? If you find a solution let me know. Oh, and that skinnier thing and just had a baby?...that is how I think and feel about you. Seriously, you just had a baby and you are skinnier than me! Luv

Jessica Peterson said...

Whatever kitty Kat...
You are da bestest. Stop selling yourself short and give yourself more credit where credit is due. You rock everyones world and are so loved it's gross. I'm not even going to being listing all of that you have that I don't because I would be here forever. Just know you are loved, god loves you and that is what matters.

Jessica Peterson said...

I meant to write "begin to list"...

Lindsay Gunnell said...

Ha! Any girl who doesn't admit to doing this is lying to themselves. Really honestly. Every woman on the planet does this. But that's what friends and sisters and moms are for--to tell you how beautiful and skinny and talented you are at absolutely everything. Husbands forget that we need this so often...

And I can totally relate because I am always trying to be miss perfect and sometimes I even superficially succeed but in the end it just alienates me from everyone else. So it's not worth it. I know that but I still do it. So don't feel bad. Also, I am so jealous of your gorgeous kids, your decorating and sewing skills, your svelte figure (and great rack!), and your job at the gym plus numerous other things. So there.