1.6.09

I just need to vent

I know that this may be a terribly boring post to many of you but it's high time I post one of those. I promise to get pictures and video of Jack's birthday up soon but for now I want to say some stuff.

I am really freaking tired. That said, I am also happy. Things are up and down lately. Violet was diagnosed with acid reflux and was put on Zantac last week. Since that did little to no good she started Prevacid today which is a little bit stronger. So fingers crossed that we will get some sleep and that our eardrums will get a break from the screaming. I also hope that she starts to feel less pain. Really, no 6 week old should feel pain, it's just cruel.

So now that that is off my chest let me tell you a little something else that is buggy. My diet. I can't eat anything! Let me rephrase that, I can only eat a few things. No dairy whatsoever, no soda whatsoever, no artificial sweetener, very few veggies, very few fruits, nothing sour, spicy or overly seasoned and no chocolate of course. Anything too fibrous and we have to squeeze toots out of the little gal for hours by squishing her knees to her chest. Sometimes they are real rippers that make us laugh but it's still annoying. I feel very limited and frustrated. Not just because I can't eat what I want but because I really really really need some fiber ya'll. If you know what I'm saying. If you don't know, don't worry. So these diet limitations coupled with my personal diet limitations for weight loss are really putting a damper on my meals. And if you know me, you know I really like to eat and am basically an emotional eater. This is like emotional eater rehab in it's most brutal form, cold turkey style. No exhaustion healed by Girhadelli brownies and no nervous breakdowns prevented by fast food. Bummer. Not even a strawberry smoothie splurge to cheer me up. The doctor said that if it doesn't get better in three to four days to call him and we'll discuss switching to formula. I really don't want to go that route for a few reasons but we can discuss that if it happens.

What else. I am finally going back to the gym full force this week. Violet is six weeks tomorrow and I am stoked. I am actually subbing a class this Thursday night at 5:30 if any of you Tucson gals want to come. It will be a blast. Honestly though, I am a little nervous. Teaching a full BodyStep class is a difficult task when you are in good shape. I just hope my 6 weeks post delivery body will afford me the energy to get through it. Cross your fingers that I actually get some sleep on Wednesday night so I even have a flying chance of success. Thanks.

Not much else is new. Well, actually there is the potential of alot being really new and exciting but I don't want to jinx it so I am staying quite.

I have been thinking alot lately about cleanliness. I am usually the kind of girl that frantically cleans before anyone comes over but I had an interesting experience a couple of weeks ago that has changed my mind. I went to a friends house for a little play date with Jack and her son. When we walked in her house felt instantly comfortable. It was clean but there were a few dishes in the sink and she was in her comfy pants. I felt soooo welcome. Isn't that weird? A few dishes in the sink and a pair of sweat pants put me more at ease than I could have imagined. I realized that by me trying to scrub and sweep up every dirty particle in my house before someone comes over I might be sending the wrong message. Who cares if there are toys strewn all over or if my kitchen table is covered in folded clothes waiting to be put away? I shouldn't stress over this crap because there is a chance that I might be doing the opposite of what I intend to do which is make people feel welcome. I have resigned to stay calm about the crap the next time someone comes over. It is a good resolution.

Also, I made another decision. No shopping until I can fit into my old clothes. I have only a handful of outfits to wear and it's annoying but I don't want to spend money on clothes that will be too big soon. So, if you see me a few days in a row wearing the same jeans, don't judge. I only have one pair that don't muffin top me and since I only have 8 pounds left to go I think I can hang on.

Ah. This post feels strangely good. I guess because it's all about me, well mostly, and it's also about nothing. Sometimes I just need to ramble and let it all come out.

17 comments:

Heather B said...

I like all your posts, no matter who they are about. First off, I am SORRY I didn't call you back the other day. Totally spaced it until midnight as I was falling asleep. BAD FRIEND! I hope it all got worked out okay. Second, The reflux thing and not being able to eat...TOTALLY RELATING. I put up a dang good fight before we switched to formula. I was sad about it, and then when Annaliese quit crying and farting and throwing/spitting up everywhere (and she was on Zantac too), and turned into this pleasant happy baby, I realized it was worth it. I hope she doesn't have allergies like mine did, but it's not the end of the world if she does, I promise. You're probably wondering what she could possibly be allergic to if you've given up everything, and as rare as it is...it could be corn like it was with Annaliese. She went off Zantac a few days after the full conversion to Alimentum Ready to Feed. So...lets hope it's not necessary for Violet, but if it is, you know I'm a huge fan of that stuff. Hang in there. By the way (LONG COMMENT!) ONLY 8 LBS TO GO? You lucky little cuss. Great work. Definitely wait for those lbs to drop and then go get some fab new clothes!!

Lindsay said...

so I drop in your blog and I really love it! I love how honest you are! Your kids are darling and you are a great mother! Good luck with your class I bet you will do great!

Jon and Diana Browning said...

I totally agree with the comfy pants dishes in the sink thing. Although I'm kind of like that a lot...poor Jon is a lot neater than I am. Anyway....sounds like you've had it kind of rough! I'm sorry. I am so impressed with how much weight you've lost and how you are being so active so soon...with two kids and no sleep. I don't know how you do it. When do I get to see you guys? Good luck this week. I hope things go smoother.

Jon and Diana Browning said...

Oh yea and I just looked at the sunday pics you took....skinny!!! Are you sure you just had a baby? Conrats!

Maureen said...

You are awesome, super woman mom! Oh the reflux, Jacob had it too. Every thing came up an out everywhere! they said 3 months he'll out grow it, then six months, then nine, he was a year old before it was over! I just kept nursing every 2-3 hours, and some how, he fattened up! I didn't change my diet either. He made it. Good luck!

Mel said...

How great to be able to get back to the gym! You will do a wonderful job of teaching..everyone in the room will just be blown away by the fact that you are up and teaching after having a baby.

Thanks for the tip about NOT cleaning the house to the point of no one feeling comfortable. I am afraid I do that too. Time to simplify.

jenna said...

there is nothing like breastfeeding woes and reflux to make a mom go cRaZy. add a second kid to the mix....and well i can't imagine!! at least you look amazing :)

KaSs MiLeS said...

so sorry about poor violet and you not being able to eat anything. you are a good mommy for doing it for her. i really hope she gets better soon.
you are amazing for getting back to the gym so fast. i seriously wish i had your determination and energy!!

Salime said...

wow!!!! you are talking about me in your post. I am the one with the dishes in the sink and the comfy pants, right? the funny thing is that I am exactly like you... I do the same when someone comes over, I am obsesive-compulsive when it comes to cleaning my house... and that day I didn't and I was secretly mortified that you would think I was a mess. I told Jimmy and he told me to relax and that you probably would not notice as most people don't (but I think many do, because I do), specially sleep deprived he said you would not notice and you did!!! so after reading your post I am mortified. yes, you mentioned you felt comfortable and that it was clean, but I can only read the lines where you say I had dirty dishes on my sink hahaha.

The Ensign's said...

come on over..... our babies can cry together!

Eevi said...

I think it's more than OK to have a post "all about you" since you barely get any you time anymore. I'm so impressed that you only have 8 more pounds to go. You look great:) Sorry to hear about the diet restrictions..that would drive me crazy too.

Carmen said...

oh my gosh I only have 8 more pounds to go too...wait...my kid is 4 months!!! seriously I just got back into my good denim like 3 weeks ago and I still can't fit into my most favorite pair....I'm hoping for an end of June date with those bad boys. btw I'm still laughing about the nipple comment you posted on my blog..

Annie said...

Kat,
I LOVE reading your blog. YOu are so funny and intereting and insightful and ahhh just a breath of fresh air. I concur with all of the above comments: 1.You are AMAZING for getting back to the gym so fast...and subbing a hard class nonetheless! 8pounds, ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!?!, Wow, I admire you. ANd way to go with the kiddos...they are gorgeous and I am sorry about the acid reflux. Brighton is a bit tempermental and has a set of lungs on her....and barfs after every feeding...but I don't think it is acid reflux. Good luck with the sweet Violet...you are truly awesome Kat!

Logan said...

I know what you mean about rambling, venting etc. I just did that for pretty much the first time on my blog and it definitely gives a sense of release! I hope things start going better for little violet and that you can start eating fiber. (yeah, I need lots of fiber too, and I'm not even pregnant or breastfeeding!)

Ashley and Chris Miles said...

Awesome something for me to look forward too :) hang in there superwomen

Kory said...

Nothing worse than sad/hurting babies. I'm sorry. Props on the skating kid. That's radical.

Jana said...

I had to give up chocolate, orange juice, and tomato sauce for a while, but moseley's gotten over it already. Hopefully she will get over her problems soon too, so you can eat again.
And as for the fiber problems, I used probiotics and that helped. It's like Activia yogurt without the dairy.