I will survive!

We are doing better. I think. I guess it varies but I want to say that we are doing better so I am going to go ahead and say it dangit! :)

Jack has started to adjust and is very helpful in handing me various baby accessories, even when I don't need them. Things like, nursing pads, diapers and pacifiers. It's nice that he is finally acknowledging her existence. One other thing about the Punkin Butters (Jack's current nick name if you didn't know) he is freaking huge! Seriously, how could I have thought he was so cute and little and cuddly a week ago? That kid is beefy!

Michael is adjusting as well. He is still solidly wrapped around both Violet and Jack's fingers except in the middle of the night. He does get a bit grumpy when she is screaming but who wouldn't with a schedule like his?

I am doing great actually. I have quite a few pounds to go (which is already my current obsession besides my kids of course) and I can't wait to get back to the gym. I have been feeling extremely guilty and inadequate when it comes to Jack but I am hoping that we will both adjust to our lack of one on one time. I know I have talked to some of you about this already but I am in mourning over the loss of our little three some. We were like the three musketeers and now that is over. It's so sad in the strangest way even though I can't imagine life without Violet. So besides my baby blues I am great. Tired. But great.

Violet is a champ. She is nursing only every 4 or so hours which is convenient for me and sleeping most of the day and part of the night. The hardest thing is having to rock her to sleep in the middle of the night. Did I seriously do that with Jack for 9 weeks until I "baby wised" him? Ugh. She gets more and more beautiful every day but what did you expect me to say? :)

My Mom is a life saver. She is cooking and cleaning and helping to rock the baby. Today she took Jack to Barnes and Noble to play at the train table for an hour and a half so I could shop. It was awesome. She has washed, dried and folded every piece of dirty laundry that has hit the basket. And for any of you who know me, you know that laundry is my evil nemesis. I am totally avoiding thinking about her leaving on Thursday. I refuse. Uh uh. Nope. Not gonna.

Now for a shout out. I need to write a personal thank you to this most awesome of awesome people but I am going to blog about it first. For any of you out there looking for a solution to how to carry your new born and deal with a toddler, look no further than the GEELA WRAP! This is the most brilliant thing in the whole world and not to mention made of super cute fabric. I feel so cool with my little papoose baby! So to Jill Brady, a humongous, gigantic, enormous THANK YOU!!!! I am in love with the gift and the giver (strictly platonic of course :) ). Now go get yourself one and you can have the same joy I have!

Ummm...

This is really hard.

P.S.

I forgot to post Violet's stats. Not like most of you really want to know but here they are anyway.

6lbs 9 oz
19 inches long
born at 11:02 p.m. on April 21st 2009

She is already nursing like a champ. Of course she is sleeping a lot too but I know that doesn't last. We are happy to be home and I feel really good actually. I seriously think all the working out made a HUGE difference this time.

Violet Josephine Clark

Let's start at the top shall we? On Monday night or Tuesday morning around 1:15 I woke up with contractions. They were about 30 minutes apart but hurt and I knew they were for real. After contracting all night with no sleep and little rest I sent Michael to work and laid down out of exhaustion around 6:30 am. By some miracle I fell asleep even though they were 7 minutes apart and woke up 2 hours later feeling like nothing had happened. I WAS FURIOUS! I was determined to make them come back and put myself back into labor so I called my good friend Lili and demanded to go walking. :) We went a couple of miles and I would have contractions that would make me breathless but nothing dramatic.

After the walk I was even more exhausted and discouraged. Jack was being a pretty big turd and so I took him to do one of our favorite things, eat pizza at Costco. Still my contractions didn't stop me from moving or doing or lifting or anything. I decided I would try to sleep again while Jack napped but here is the kicker, instantly they were 7 minutes apart and brutal. I mean, the second I laid down it was game time. I called the OB nurse she said go to the hospital. I showered, called my lifesaver Gigi and got the last of our bags packed. Gigi loaded Jack and I up in her car and drove me to the hospital.

After spending an hour in triage and feeling extremely pessimistic that I would be sent home the nurse checked my cervix. I had dilated from a 2.5 to a 4 in one hour. HOORAY! REAL LABOR! I was admitted and Michael started to get excited. We were moved into our delivery room and the anesthesiologist took waaaaaaaay too long to get there. I was a six by the time the drugs started to work. Seriously?! I never want to feel a six again!

By 6:30 pm I was finally sitting pretty. I had been stuck twice because the epidural didn't quite work the first time but I felt so good by that point that I didn't care. Roughly 2 hours later, I was feeling contractions again and I almost started to cry. I did NOT want to feel them again! The anesthesiologist came back, re-drugged me and of course the contractions slowed. I was only a 7. One centimeter in about 4 or so hours is no good. Bring on the pitocin right? Wrong! Twenty minutes later I felt one hard contraction of alot of pressure and her head was crowning. The best part is that they wanted me to hold it! The doctor took 10 minutes to get there and boom! Five pushes later there she was. Ta da! It hurt like a son of a biscuit but of course, cliche cliche cliche, she was worth it.

Now for some pics after all of that blabbity bla and btw they aren't in order but I am too lazy to turn all of these around. If that bugs you start from the bottom. :)

Poor Jack is STILL not too sure about her.


Super sensitive skin = super rosy cheeks.


My Cookie!


Happy Mommy and Daddy.


My little gnome. Awww.


Loved having her hair washed.


Just chillin'


Again, total bliss.


Not so much a fan of the body washing.


Wanting her Mommy of course.


So exciting to hold her for the first time.


The happy, ugly cry.


Almost a smile.


Welcome to the world!


I just want to quickly thank everyone who has called, emailed, text or commented. We are doing great and hope that continues. My mom is coming in 3 hours (HALLELUJAH!) and so maybe I will be better about returning calls and such soon. We are so grateful to have this healthy, beautiful editiona and have truly felt the love of our Heavenly Father in these last few days. It's a joy and blessing that only comes from new life!

The End is Near

I can finally breathe a sigh of relief (much to my husbands disapproval) because I am going to be induced on Friday! Finally! I am going to get her out of me and I am so excited. Of course this is all planned as long as I don't go into labor before that. No negative comments allowed! Thanks.

Seriously?!

It's 4:40 am, Michael is on call, I got woken up 42 minutes ago and now I can't sleep. She is kicking and squirming so hard that I think something must be wrong! Ok not really but why is she so active and violent right now? Maybe the milk and the granola bar will lure her to sleep. Ugh. I feel like yelling, "leave me alone!" Let's all cross our fingers that I get to go back to sleep soemtime before church. Ugh.

A dumpload of photos

I know dumping a ton of photos into one post like this typically doesn't solicit alot of comments because it is so overwhelming but that's ok today. I already got alot of great, cheer me up comments with my last little complaining post. Plus, I worked out and then took Jack for pizza and ice cream and now I feel much better. So here they are in no particular order for your viewing pleasure.

The infamous ice cream cone. How cute is that messy face? Totally worth the clean up! :)


We all scream for ice cream.


Daddy tying up his shoes on Easter.


First time in floaties and loving it!


Swimming all by himself and not doing half bad for a kid who's not even 2!


He always counts to ten, skipping the number 7 and then says, "GO!" and jumps. Priceless.


Here is my birthday loot. Yes, that is two types of generic, discounted fiber supplement. Michael is so funny! And while it is mostly food, it was all a big pregnant chick could ask for. Plus some very valuable home made coupons. :)


Here we are sampling the cake. DEEEE-licious!


Jack super stoked on his "booja" or skateboard for all of you who don't speak Jackanese.


Birthday belly shot. Nice jammies eh?


Look at that hair! Love. Pure love. No wonder his baby sitter calls him baby Einstein!


What the? Sleepy on the skateboard. Crazy baby.


Daddy being wreckless with our precious son.


Peek-a-boo. Doesn't my hair look so much better? I needed a haircut soooo bad.


Da buddah belly.


Easter bowtie. One dollar. Sweet.


Daddy won the battle of the best Easter basket treat. Bubble tape. Awesome!


Face full of bubble tape. What a doll! I'm in love.

For just a minute

I promise to post something really worth while during nap time. I actually have some great pictures and video to upload this time. However, right now I just want to complain senselessly for no reason.

First off I don't want any solutions, just girly sympathy. I just want everyone to say, "oh Kat, I know how you're feeling and it really sucks." So here goes.

I am just so tired of waiting for this baby to come. I know I am not even at my due date but I have had so many things telling me that she would come early that I am frustrated she hasn't yet. On the other hand, I have been refreshing myself by reading Baby Wise over again and when I do I get so scared and overwhelmed. Why do I want her to come any earlier?! I am going to be even more exhausted and frustrated and poor little Jack will be so annoyed!

I have started the grieving process for our little 3-some. I know I am going to love this little bundle like I never thought imaginable but I still feel sad to think that it won't just be the three of us anymore. I am so scared for how Jack is going to react because lately he won't even acknowledge my tummy. He used to kiss the baby and say hi and be so cute and now he ignores us when we talk about Violet in any way.

I have a stupid cough. At first it was just lots of yucky in my throat but now I am hacking and my voice is dwindling. I found myself screeching at Jack yesterday to stop running towards the escalator to no avail. It was a futile effort but thankfully something in his brain clicked at the last minute and he stopped. Why do I have to lose my voice? Maybe because I am complaining too much.

My house is very clean. In fact, there hasn't been a dish in the sink for longer than an hour for days now. I have obediently folded every piece of clean laundry right out of the dryer and there are no rotting leftovers in my fridge. The last thing I can think of to clean is the oven and seriously, I just don't want to do that.

Yesterday was like one constant contraction. My belly was tight from around 3 until 8:30. There was no peak or change just uncomfortable tightness all day. Does that mean I was stretching out more? Heaven knows I don't need that! Yeesh! I feel so annoyed that I keep having false alarms. I am thinking about it too much and am so acutely aware of every little pain or tightness. It's stupid.

Michael is working so hard. I know that this is normal and typical but it's just so stupid of his attendings to have scheduled him on such a hard and busy rotation right when I am due. I just want to march down to the hospital and give them an earful. I daydream about writing to the head of the program all of the time and just chewing him out. How lame is that? But really, I think they're exact words in regards to giving him time off when I deliver were, "yeah, we could probably give you a couple days off." UM HELLO! Probably? A couple? Whatever happened to penalty free paternity leave? Yeah, right, forget it.

The last thing is how uncomfortable I am. Really you forget how awful the last part is. I have just started saying that the first 8 months take one month to go by and the the last month takes the other 8. I just wish I wasn't spontaneously exhausted or energized. I wish I could move around and hold my son for longer than ten paces. I wish my butt didn't hurt and my hips didn't ache all the time.

I think that's most of it. If you have made it this far then wow, you must really be a good friend or very bored. I promise to post something better this afternoon. Bye till then.

Out of boredom

It is Saturday night and I am sitting at home bored while my son sleeps and my hottie hubby is at the gym getting ripped. I have been randomly blog browsing for at least an hour now knowing good and well that I am wasting my time. Still, I can't stop and do anything else for some reason. I did take a quick glance at the tv screen (which is muted and stationed on who knows what channel) and saw Tim Gunn. He was doing a Tide commercial and next to his name they described him as a "fashion icon."

This title got my gears spinning. If I were considered an icon of something what would it be? If you were considered an icon of something what would you be? The best ones I came up with for myself were these:

Foot-in-mouth icon
Unfashionable icon
Pregnant icon
Pushover icon
TV-watching icon
Lazy icon
Poor and jealous icon
Guilt icon
Constantly chipped nail polish icon
Used to be cool icon
To-do-list icon

All of these make sense to me but I think the first one fits me best. It has been even harder to keep my foot in my mouth in Tucson because your feet get really dirty here. It's all that dang dusty dirt all over. Freakin' desert! So I have been avoiding the dirt by letting my mouth run and saying all sorts of inappropriate things. We won't go into details because sometimes it gets too nitty gritty but lets just say the over share meter is about to reach its max psi. Whatever the heck that means! Sigh. What a boring post.

Camille's shower and stuff

Tonight I hosted a baby shower at my house for my good friend Camille. It was so fun to plan and put on. Since she is having a girl I went with a "chick" theme. I got the idea from another blog that I am sure many of you have heard of, The Hostess with the Mostest. Her party was incredible and immaculate and mine was simple and sweet. I actually coincidentally chose the same craft paper to mod podge all of the decor by total accident! How funny is that? Wait, am I making any sense right now? I'm tired, it's late. Sorry. Moving on. One of my favorite things about the whole spread was my fruit presentation. Instead of just a Mormon fruit salad I made fruit skewers and stuck them into a giant vase full of jello. Ha! I thought it was clever. Anywho, here are some pictures of the event before everyone showed up.

I have made a few diaper cakes in my day but I was especially proud of this one.



There's the fruit skewers in the jello. Even if you don't like it, you have to admit, it's pretty clever.

It was such a fun night and so many great girls came out to support her. I am really tired now but I feel so fulfilled in a way that is totally different from mothering. Isn't that weird? I guess I just like parties and I like when they are a success. On another note, I cannot believe how rad my husband is. He has taken sole responsibility of Jack for the last two days while I have worked to get everything ready and finished. Then after it was all over he even sat down next to me tonight and proceeded to tickle my arm for like an hour. What a stud. Now on to the very last note, can you even believe that I am due in 2 weeks?! Ahhh! It could really happen any day now and I would welcome it. I am sooooooooo stinkin' uncomfortable. Peace.

"Tay!" "Tay!"

Yesterday we took the opportunity to go to the car wash and get rid of the nastiness. Jack has recently learned what scary means and so he refers to the car wash as "tay." It is so cute to watch him get excited when we pull up and then shift into being totally freaked out once we enter the car wash. He is definitely torn because although he is reminding us that it is sufficiently scary and that he is ready to be "all pao" (means all done in Hawaii), he still asks to go through again once we are done. So funny and so cute.



In other news. I am getting so excited for this little girl. In fact I am unexpectedly feeling anxious for her arrival. I know that I am partly crazy to want her here any earlier than necessary but I can't help to get butterflies when I think she could be here any day in the next three weeks. I have been trying to keep myself busy because I honestly do have quite a few things I would like to do before she gets here. I am obviously not busy enough though because I catch myself daydreaming about her all the time. Sigh. Here are 3 of the blankets I have made for her. One is a quilt and the other two are hooded blankets for burrito wrapping. I wonder if they will even be usefull or if they will end up being cute props. Who knows? I still like them.